Low Red Moon journal

        Sunday, October 05, 2003

        I tore another one out, shat it out, spat it out, vomited it, and this morning I can feel the great, empty space left behind.

        The post-pardum, post-coital darkness that always follows completion, and follows the completion of novels ten-fold, has come earlier and harder than I'd expected. I should not have taken yesterday off. That didn't help. I should have kept working, kept my mind occupied and all those silly thoughts of rest could have waited a few decades. I didn't rest. I only grew increasingly taciturn and uncertain. I would like to be one of those authors who finishes and feels a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, please. Something more than this emptiness. It threatens to collapse me like an old star, done with being itself. Oh, but yesterday. Anyway. Yes, yesterday. I didn't get out of the house until almost 3 p.m. and I'd have been better off staying in. The only redeeming portion of the afternoon was the half-hour or so spent in the Apple Store, drooling over the new G5s. A sat through a presentation on the G5s and dreamed of having enough disposable income to construct a Beowulf cluster from them to devote to nothing but processing SETI data units.

        Last night, Spooky and I listened to LunarCycles and drank a lot of absinthe and I smoked for the first time in almost a year. This morning, my lungs feel like someone filled them with sludge while I was sleeping. Anyway, a great LunarCycles and if you didn't tune in this week, and the weasels have devoured your toes, you'll have another chance next weekend, and then the weasels won't have to start in on your fingers, as well.

        A few thank yous. Thanks to Jackie and everyone on the phorum for being happier about my having finished Murder of Angels than I could ever be. Thanks to Chris for sending me Depraved English (how very apropos). Thanks to Maria for the letter, handwritten in an envelope and with a stamp and everything. Thanks to Crow for the postcard, which is almost as good as a letter. Thanks to Carlo and Jordan for e-mail. And apologies to anyone I should be thanking and am not. I'm thanking you anyway. But those are invisible thank yous.

        I did pick up the last issue (for now) of How Loathsome yesterday. I read it this morning. You must find this and read it. Trust me.

        There's no reason to trust me, of course. I wouldn't trust me. I don't trust me. You get stuck with someone as long as I've been stuck with me and you learn better.


        10:19 AM


        Powered by Blogger

         

        Low Red Moon journal
        Being a daily record of the writing of Caitlin's next novel

        Archives
        11/01/2001 - 11/30/2001
        12/01/2001 - 12/31/2001
        01/01/2002 - 01/31/2002
        02/01/2002 - 02/28/2002
        03/01/2002 - 03/31/2002
        04/01/2002 - 04/30/2002
        05/01/2002 - 05/31/2002
        06/01/2002 - 06/30/2002
        07/01/2002 - 07/31/2002
        08/01/2002 - 08/31/2002
        09/01/2002 - 09/30/2002
        10/01/2002 - 10/31/2002
        11/01/2002 - 11/30/2002
        12/01/2002 - 12/31/2002
        01/01/2003 - 01/31/2003
        02/01/2003 - 02/28/2003
        03/01/2003 - 03/31/2003
        04/01/2003 - 04/30/2003
        05/01/2003 - 05/31/2003
        06/01/2003 - 06/30/2003
        07/01/2003 - 07/31/2003
        08/01/2003 - 08/31/2003
        09/01/2003 - 09/30/2003
        10/01/2003 - 10/31/2003
        11/01/2003 - 11/30/2003
        12/01/2003 - 12/31/2003
        01/01/2004 - 01/31/2004
        02/01/2004 - 02/29/2004
        03/01/2004 - 03/31/2004
        04/01/2004 - 04/30/2004
        05/01/2004 - 05/31/2004
        06/01/2004 - 06/30/2004
        07/01/2004 - 07/31/2004
        08/01/2004 - 08/31/2004
        09/01/2004 - 09/30/2004
        10/01/2004 - 10/31/2004
        11/01/2004 - 11/30/2004
        12/01/2004 - 12/31/2004
        01/01/2005 - 01/31/2005
        02/01/2005 - 02/28/2005
        03/01/2005 - 03/29/2005
        04/01/2005 - 04/31/2005
        05/01/2005 - 05/30/2005
        06/01/2005 - 06/31/2005
        07/01/2005 - 07/30/2005
        08/01/2005 - 08/31/2005
        Current Month

        caitlinrkiernan.com

        Discussion Boards

        Email Caitlín at: lowredmail@mac.com

        Write to Caitlín at: Caitlín R. Kiernan, P.O. Box 5290, Atlanta, GA 31107

        All contents copyright © 2001, 2002, 2003 by Caitlín R. Kiernan.
        All rights reserved.