Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Since a number of you seem to be amused with my creepy spam, here's another, of the non-Jesusy variety. It was sent, purportedly, by someone whose Moma and/or Daddy was sadistic enough to name them Malignancies U. Bonging (email@example.com). After the first line of text, note that there is a large graphic inserted, an add for TotalPharmancy ("Your Online Pharmacy Store"), listing prices for Codeine, Viagra, Cialis, Valium, and Xanax (which, by the way, is one of the finest substances ever crafted by the alchemies of you hairless apes). The e-mail is as follows:
Subject: What's up, then?
[insert TotalPharmacy ad here]
If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap. For man is not the creature and product of Mechanism but, in a far truer sense, its creator and producer.
In the long run we are all dead. The good things of prosperity are to be wished but the good things that belong to adversity are to be admired.
A pessimist and an optimist, so much the worse so much the better. The one thing people are the most liberal with, is their advice. Events of great consequence often spring from trifling circumstances.
Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.
There is nothing so fatal to character as half finished tasks.
You can change your beliefs so they empower your dreams and desires. Create a strong belief in yourself and what you want. We are all geniuses up to the age of ten. Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.
Art, like Nature, has her monsters, things of bestial shape and with hideous voices. Marriage, it seems, confines every man to his proper rank. Man only likes to count his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If you stand up to be counted, someone will take your seat.
No matter how ephemeral it is, a novel is something, while despair is nothing. The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.
It ends with large (35 pt.?) green letters declaring BE REMOVED NOW! What the frell's that? Some sort of frelling predispensationalist battle cry?
Personally, this all just serves to reinforce my belief that the deus ex machina is trying to get my attention, that I might awaken those imprisoned by some dark lord or another. Of course, I also believe Velveeta is actually manufactured by Dow Chemicals from retroengineered alien tech recovered from Roswell, so you might want to take that with a grain of salt.